An Open Letter.

Oh my sweet boy, how I love you already.  I cannot wait to see you, to meet you, to learn who you are.  My deepest hope is that you are happy in your life, from the time I cradle you in my arms till the time you are cradled in God's.

I pray you will be a silly baby, full of giggles and smiles.

I pray you will be a tumbling toddler, so you learn to stand up on your own.

I pray you will be a loving brother, that you will protect your sibling(s) from the monsters in their lives (under the bed or otherwise).

I pray you will be a dedicated learner, who goes beyond high school and college, someone how craves knowledge and wisdom, always.

I pray you will be a strong man, not only in body but also in mind.

I pray you will be a respectful courter, that you will honor all women and will be wise with the one you chose to call yours.

I pray you will be a diligent provider, one who loves his wife and children, giving of himself for their happiness.

I pray you will have the courage to admit defeat, to seek help when you can no longer stand on your own.

I pray you will be a commanding leader, at home, at work, and in the church.

I pray you will be a humble son of God, that you will listen and lead as He shows you.

I pray you will live a full life, a long life, packed with loved ones' laughter, precious moments, sunsets, and shooting stars.

Don't forget where you came from, but make your own way in life, according to what God has planned for you.  Never forget how much your mother loves you, even now.

Weekends With Family.

In this quarter, I have had two weekends with my family; over my birthday weekend and Easter, and this past weekend.  My parents came down for Easter and my brothers and Michelle came this weekend.  To say I am blessed is an understatement.  It would have been very easy to just let me be this quarter, to get sucked into the holidays, graduation, and work, but they made sure I didn't get left out.

My parents came to see me on the 18th of April, for my birthday!  We spent our weekend, going out and eating at different and interesting restaurants, estate sale shopping, and visiting a botanical garden.  That is where these gems were taken... I love them!

My Goofballs!

My Role Models!

This past weekend had a slightly different vibe; my two brothers (Aaron and CJ) came to see me, along with Aaron's girlfriend of three years, Michelle (who is practically family now).  To be honest, I didn't know what to expect with them, not sure what we would do, where we would go, and if they would have a good time.

Boy was I in for a surprise.

The first day they were there we went on a four mile nature hike, went swimming, got some food, walked around some cool neighborhoods admiring the houses, then got some pizza and watched movies, talked, and laughed.  The second day, CJ's eighteenth birthday, Aaron and Michelle left to visit with her brother in Nashville and CJ and I got to goof off... Well goofing off with him usually get us in trouble.  This weekend was no exception.  We went to go walk around the lake at my new apartment, and got lost and walked for six miles or more... causing both of us to have bleeding feet and bad sunburn!  But he's a trouper, and we made it back.  We stayed in and watched movies and funny videos for the rest of the night with the exception of going and taking some senior pictures...

Handsome!

Graduate 2014! Uber proud!

I was blessed by my family this weekend, and I am ready to be home with them in twelve days!

Time For A Change.

So as many of you can see, this blog has changed quite a bit.  New look for the (almost) new year.  I started this blog back in January and I have been playing with the style of it since then... and over the last two or three days, I haven't had much to do, so I went a little crazy.  Got a whole new look.  Personally I like it better, but then again I'm not the one who has to read it!  Let me know what you guys think!

In other news, I'm back at college.  You should see my face, I just can't stop smiling, I love it here.

Yeah, I'm a horrible lair.  

I've been back for a little over a week and will be going back home on Christmas break in four days.  Now that is a reason to smile.  Plans are being made for Christmas parties, caroling, and family get-together.  I'm very excited!

But this will be a difficult year in many ways.  

• This is the first Christmas without my Grandma Betty.  She's been such a fixture for so long it's going to be strange not to have her with us.  
• This is the first year without Riley, yet another fixture in our home, gone.  
• First Christmas with little Piper.  
• First year I have to actually GO somewhere for Christmas.  
• First year of not being home to pick out the Christmas tree and put up decorations in my room. 
• First Christmas I get to spend with my friends! 

A mixture of both good, bad, and hard.  Tears will be shed this year, both happy and sad.  But I am looking forward to it all.  Looking forward to seeing everyone again, to spending time with my family and friends.  It will be a good three weeks.  Now I just have to get through finals... Ugh.

Grandma Betty.

Thirteen Years.

Thirteen days ago, I lost my friend of thirteen years.  Riley has been in my life since I was five years old.  Since the day my dad came home with this little black blob in a card board box.  When he arrived I did not realize how much he would wind up meaning to me, this little mutt, a jumbled up and confused mess of a dog.

This is just part of a thirteen year story, the story of my Riley.

Silly boy isn't looking at the camera, but he's still cute.

In the fall of 2000, it was just my family and me.  Two parents, two brothers, and Lauren.  Our previous family dog, Molly, had passed away earlier that year and we had no plans to get a new one.  At least Mom had no plans for another dog.  My father had other plans, one day he came back from work at his usual time, carrying a cardboard box.  I was in the living room, playing with my brother, when Dad called me into the kitchen.  I remember not wanting to go, the blocks we were playing with were far to interesting.  But I did what I was told.  My dad was beaming by the door and pointed to a box next to the refrigerator, a black towel was balled up in the corner.  Then the black towel blinked.  A PUPPY!  We got a puppy!  Mom wouldn't let me pet him right away, saying we to wait until he was less scared.  So I sat four feet from the box and waited.  Waited to pet my best friend for the first time.

Oh, that hair!  Morning cuddles with Riley. 

Riley fit in perfectly, he was very sweet with my brothers and me.  Shared his food, his toys, and his teeth (he had a thing for biting toes).  He followed us kids around all day, tiring all four of us out.  But from a very young age we notices him avoiding stairs, and having a hard time jumping up on the bed or couch.  Cue the dachshund in him, his front legs were shorter then his back legs and they were curved inwards. Causing him to have arthritis at about a year old. Did that stop him?  Nope.  He ran and romped and played as much as any other puppy. And every year on Christmas he ran away.  Ever year for about six or so years.  Silly boy.

Oh these people!

Snow Puppy!

Riley romped and played for thirteen years, he went to doggy summer camp one year with his friend Tori.  He won all the awards.  He treed too many squirrel to count, and even one cat!  Got to ride in the car to go to the beauty shop, went to Grandpa's, and woke the kids up for school.  He was a busy, happy boy for most of his life.

Our "water" dog.

Tessa, Riley, and myself.  Fall of 2011.

Towards the beginning of 2013, it hit me, Riley wasn't going to live forever.  Even though it seemed like he would.  I mean the dog shouldn't have lasted six months with his daredevil attitude and messed up body, but he lasted thirteen plus years.  A good thirteen years.  I saw him for the last time on September 18th.  As I said my quick goodbyes, running out the door to move to college, it didn't really hit me I wouldn't see him again.  Does anyone ever really think that?  The idea may be in your head, but you don't truly believe it.  "Prepare yourself, he may not be here at Thanksgiving."  I was told that.  I knew that.  But I didn't believe that.  Not really.  Not even now.

This is one of my favorites of him.

As he grew older, we grew up.  He was there to play tug of war, he was there to scare away the squirrels, he was there to bark at that nasty vacuum.  He was there whenever I needed him, even when I didn't realize I needed him.  I wasn't there when he got sick, I wasn't there when we had to put him down, I wasn't there to say goodbye.  This is my goodbye, I guess.  My goodbye from 358 miles away.  My goodbye, because I didn't want to admit it before now.  Riley is gone now.  He lives now just in my memories and in the photos on my wall.  Thirteen years of memories, scars, tears, kisses, rope toys, and treats.  Thirteen years of wonderful Riley McDuffy Wolfgang.  

"Schurprisch!"

Surprises are the best.  This weekend was the best.  This weekend was a surprise.

Here is the story of my weekend surprise;

The plan for November first was for my parents would come down and visit me over the weekend.  We would go sight-seeing and exploring the city that I have been living in for the last two months.  It was a plan I was okay with, I genuinely have missed my parents ans was really excited to see them and talk with them again.  But I really wished they would bring my brothers or some of my friends along.  I didn't tell them that.  I didn't want to seem unhappy that they were coming or make it seem like them coming wasn't enough.  It was, but bringing my friends would make it better.

For about a week before their arrival date, I had become suspicious that they may be bringing my best friends, Alan and Erika, with them.  Little things that got my hopes up, like my dad telling me that he may not have room for my mini fridge in the back seat of the car, saying it wouldn't fit through the door.  A completely valid excuse but in my mind it meant that there would be people in that back seat.  I refused to ask anymore directly, "Are you bringing so-and-so?" of "Are you coming?"  If they were trying to surprise me, I would let them and not make them lie.

Friday rolled around and I convinced myself that no one but my parents were coming.  My friend, Alan, told me to say "hello" to my parents for him, and my heart sank.  I gave up all hope that he was coming.  My parents pulled up with an empty back seat and it was final.  No one else came.

I was very happy to see Mom and Dad, don't get me wrong, I just didn't realize how much I had been looking forward to possibly seeing my friends.  I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I clambered into the car, off to check into my parents' hotel and then get some lunch.

I unloaded the trunk of my parents' luggage and headed to the elevator.  Naturally I walked faster then my bogged down parents, so my dad gave me the room key so I could open the door for them.  And I did, I unlocked the door and headed in.

And who shall be sitting there? Erika and Alan!

I can't really remember what happened next.  I think I screamed, jumped up and down, and  hugged them about a million times.  It's really just a blur of happiness.  The best kind of blur.

The next two days were also a blur.  The bad kind of blur, the kind of blur that left me, on Sunday afternoon, feeling like they had only been there for twenty minutes.

But it had been about three days, three full, wonderful, memorable days.  And I wouldn't change them for the world.  So here are just a few pictures that I took this weekend of the beautiful Kentucky landscape.

The woods in the mountains are beautiful this time of year. 

A little water fall.

LEAVES!

I love the mountains.

Some Past Work.

A few snap shots from my brother's senior photos this summer.

Oh Dashing Brother Of Mine!

Boys will be boys!

                                                                                                                                                                 

 Being a mooch for the camera at the family reunion.

Peaceful.

Just Some Thoughts.

Grinning like an idiot.  I've been doing a lot of that recently.  More that I have in a long time.  Mainly it's due to the fact that I am at college.  I get cute messages, texts, and snapchats from many of my friends saying that they miss me or just to say "hi".  They are wonderful!  I always seem to get them at the exact moment I need them; when I am having a bad day in class, when I am really tired and ready to be done for the day, or when I'm just sitting around missing home.  I'll get just the smallest text or a picture of a smiling friend and my day just gets ten times better.  Which causes me to grin like an idiot in the middle of class, on the bus to the dorm, while I'm eating alone at dinner, or while I'm sitting on my bed in my room.

I'm pretty sure my roommate thinks I'm crazy, I just randomly smile (and sometimes giggle) at my phone or laptop.  And believe me, I don't mind one bit.  Not even a little bit.  But it does hurt sometimes.  Knowing that I am the reason for them missing me.  Which sounds weird but allow me to explain myself.

Missing someone is not a fun feeling.  Yes, it means that you care about someone and wish to be in their company again, but in a perfect world there would be no need to miss anyone.  They would always be around.  It's my fault that these people, whom I care about dearly, have to feel this way.  I chose to leave for college, I chose to build friendships and bonds with them even though I knew I was leaving.  They have made my life so much better but I'm not sure I have done the same for them.  Like I am cruel for ever being their friend.  That's a difficult feeling to deal with.

And even though I get to text or snapchat them back, it's not the same as being there in person.  There would be no need for these messages or texts if I were back home with them.  As cute as some of the "I miss you" messages are, (keep in mind, I do love them) I just wish they were sent under different circumstances.

One of my friends and I used to send each other "I miss you" texts after going only a day without seeing each other.  Not because we were overly dependent on each other, just simply because we enjoyed each others company and didn't like to be away for it for too long.  Now those messages have a different feel.  That I do not like.  I feel like "I miss you" doesn't cover it any more.  Like there has to be another phrase that means more and sums up my feelings better.  I do miss her, terribly, but you can over use a phrase so that it doesn't hold any meaning anymore.  I have to be careful now.  Not to over use these sentiments.  Keep those things special, so that I can continue to grin like an idiot.

Content. Not Comfortable.

When will I start missing home?  When will I really get homesick? Why am I even worried about that?
Right now I am content at the dorms, I like having my own space and being able to take care of myself.  I don't miss my home yet.  Not really, I just miss little things.

*I miss the smell of coffee in the morning.
*I miss the feeling of Tessa curled up at the foot of my bed.
*I miss the smell of my house.
*I miss the familiar things.  The comforting things.

I'm not homesick, I'm content.

But I can see myself shutting down, turning off that emotion and not missing anything or anyone.  I don't want that to happen.  I want to miss people, I do miss people, I just want to continue.

Tonight:
*I miss stargazing.
*I miss swimming in the pond.
*I miss going on walks with Tess.
*I miss sitting on my friend's porch and talking.
*I miss drinking coffee out of a real mug.

These are things I got used to this summer.  Things that I didn't realize I would miss as much as I do.  I've already written about hugs.

Oh, how I miss hugs.

I'm completely sure that I will always miss hugs.

I'm still scared.  I'm still worried I'm gonna shut down.  I don't want to get comfortable here, content is fine, but not comfortable.  I have to keep myself irritated with something or someone.  If something bothers me I can't get comfortable.  I'm safe.

This isn't a good place for me to be though.  I am constantly negative about everything and everyone here, trying to find things.  Sometimes it's easy.  Sometimes I have to search.

Why am I searching for negative things?

My world here is completely different.  There is so much structure and routine here.  I have the same thing for breakfast almost everyday.  I get on the same bus, with the same people, and go to the same classrooms and sit in the same seat.  Everyday.

My day gets all messed up if I do something different.  When someone eats dinner with me, it takes too long and I don't get my reading time, which pushed my texting and Skyping times back.  Then my day is just off.  And that bothers me.  A lot.

I don't have a lot of control here:
*I can't do everything I want all the time.
*I can't see my friends all the time.
*I can't sit in the yard and watch the world go by.
*I can't go down to the kitchen and get a midnight snack.

I'm on a schedule.  I'll remain on one until I go home in November.  That's why I am so concerned about shutting down.  With a schedule that I don't have to think about, it will be so much easier to close down and become a shell.  Just my body doing the routine.  That's what scares me.  I could change here.

I don't want to change.

I Have Arrived.

College. The final frontier.  

Well, not really, but appreciate the reference.   I am here at culinary school, sitting in my dorm room, at my desk, typing away.  It feels odd.  Like I'm in a sort of dream, you know those really vivid, realistic ones? The ones where when you wake up you can't tell the difference between yesterday and the dream.  That's what it's like.

I've had a full three days.  Spent the Tuesday running errands and packing, then I was kidnapped.  By the best people possible.  My friend, Rachel, picked me up and drove me to Holland where I met my other friends, Alan and Erika, for coffee!  After chatting for a bit we walked around downtown, window shopped, and of course stopped at the corner book store.  Later we went back to my second home, had ice cream, talked on the porch, stargazed on the trampoline, and began Hug Fest 2013.
These are my favorite kind of days.

I didn't want to say goodbye.  I hate goodbyes.  That weight in the center of your chest, holding you down, making you want to stay.  Forever.  I wish I could, I really do.  Spend the rest of my year sitting on the kitchen floor of my best friends' house.  But I had to move on.  I had to say goodbye.  It hurt, it still does.

Wednesday morning rolled around.  Regrettably.  Up at 4:45 am, finished my last bit of packing, explained to Tessa what was gonna happen that day, said goodbye to my brothers, dogs, and house.  Then sitting outside my house was my friend Jon.  Come to bid me farewell.  Ugh, never have I needed a hug so badly and I am so happy he was there to give me one.  Or five.  It's all a bit of a blur, I lost count.  But after that I was off, heading towards my new life.

God sent me a rainbow.

Today is my second day at school.  I've met some people, enough so that I don't eat alone at meals, unless I want to, which is most of the time.  I've had lots of breaks today, but I've spent them all in my room, writing journal entries, letters home, and now this blog post.  I should go down and get dinner soon.  But first a small dorm tour.

My bed and picture wall.

Book shelf, with all of my "To Read Before Break" books.  Wish me luck!

That's Done Now.

As I'm beginning to wrap up my time here at home, I'm becoming more and more nostalgic.  I'm going through old photos to get some printed up for college, laughing at the memories and sometimes telling inside jokes out loud to my computer screen.  I'm marveling in how much I have changed this year.  I have made some of the most amazing friends in the last ten months.  Some have become my best friends.  I have had some of the most mundane activities made amazing, just by having a friend with me.

 Keep in mind that I just met most of these people eight to ten months ago.  I have had friendships lasting over four years that have not been as close as the once I have made this year.  God is truly amazing like that.  I used to think I was never going to find friends like the old ones I had lost, just because there was so much history there that can't be replicated.  A certain comfort level which only time can obtain.

I was wrong.

Going Grocery Shopping

I used hate the term "Click." It felt shallow and meaningless.  A term I previously only used to describe small groups of preppy teen-aged girls in high school.

But it has now taken on a whole new meaning.

Now when I say "click" I'm talking about my friends Erika and Alan.  Two of my best friends.  Never in my life have I "clicked" with anyone the way I clicked with them.  Frankly I could fill and entire blog post talking about those two, and I  probably will, just at a later date.

Moving on!

The last five months have been some of the best that I have had ever.  The Summer of 2013 will be one I talk about for years and years to come.  My children will hear stories of all of the "adventures" I had in my wild and crazy youth.  Including burning couches, watching Disney movies, numerous beach sunsets (in the least romantic way possible), Wii parties, and hayloft chats.  My children will be so bored with me.

Sarah at Holland Beach

My camera was with me most of this summer, thankfully.  So I have been able to document some of my fondest memories.

Penny in the sunset

This one here for instance was my first bonfire of the year, at my friend Louis's house.  I did not know Louis previous to this get together, we met that night.  I spent the evening on his farm with a group of other friends, walking, talking, taking pictures of horses, shooting off fireworks, eating sweets, and discussing geeky TV shows.
This was one of my favorite bonfires of the whole year.

At my friend, Alan's, soccer game.  His sister, Erika, and a friend, Annie, and I sat on the side lines, cheering him on. We had an annoying line judge that would ruin all of our pictures because he was doing his job. Ugh.  So after half time (or what ever you call it in soccer) we started singing "Adelvice" from The Sound of Music.  The line judge stayed clear of us from then on! We also redid a Les Mis song to fit the game a bit better.  I don't even think I could sing the original lyrics anymore.

It's memories like this that I will have forever.  Not that they are anything special to anyone else, they are just precious to me.

Jon's Pond

The pond.  My entire group's summer summed up into one picture.  I can't believe all the adventures we have had here, all the jokes, the countless hours spent on the dock or shore, the pruned fingers and toes, the sunburn, the lost camera, and just the life that happened here.

Life has passed in these last few months. Lots of it.  It will continue to pass in the days to come, but not the same.  Not like it did this year.  I will miss this terribly, but I can't make it last forever as I want too.  We are all moving on now, on to the next section in our lives.  Summer 2013 is coming to a close.  I will wave goodbye with a tear of loss in my eye.  A loss which is so unexplainable.  I'm not loosing this summer, not really, I just can not add to it any more.

I can see great things in the future, for me and for all my friends. And I pray we all get to see each other achieve those great things.  That one day we can sit down and talk about "Summer 2013" as the launching pad to the rest of our lives.

I can't really come up with a way to close this post, much like I am not sure how to close out this year.  I hate endings, and beginnings, its the middle part that is my favorite, and that's done now.

Counting Days, Fingers, and Toes.

Twenty one more days.  That's how long I have until I move into more new dorm room, at a new college, in a new state, with a new roommate.  The countdown has begun... Amongst that chaos, I had a few brief hours, on Saturday, to spend with some of my extended family.

I have one of those crazy families, it's broken, dramatic, and dysfunctional. We usually see them at other family members' funerals or at the occasional cookout, I believe the last time we met on terms other than for those of mourning, was six years ago.

Lots of life goes by in six years.  Children grow up, or are born. Which is where I would like to pause for a moment.

No matter how crazy my life is, holding a baby always seems to comfort me.  I'm not sure why, maybe its just the thought that you are holding something truly innocent.  This little human has no worries, she isn't thinking about college, she isn't concerned with boys, she doesn't care what her body looks like.  She is just there, full of possibilities and hope.

This weekend I had the opportunity to photograph a family member's four month old baby girl. She is so precious and I just had to share.

My Little Brother.

So I have yet to vent to the interwebs about my brother.  You all are in for a treat.

                     This is my little brother. I like him. He's mine. I'm gonna keep him forever.

My brother and I are thirteen months apart.  We grew up like twins, and most people thought we were, in a Polish neighborhood.  Thus giving us the nickname, "The Polish Twins".  A term we still use today.

We grew up being each other's best friend.  The neighborhood didn't have any kids our age so we ended up being each other's constant companion.  This has caused massive fights over the years, usually over the stupidest things.  Yet we have never stayed mad at each other for more than a day, irritated at each other; yes.  Mad? No.

                                                    I mean seriously, we are adorable. 

This kid and I have been through so much together, helped each other through difficulties with family, friends, sports, and the decision of what to eat for a midnight snack.  He is such an amazing young man I can't quite get over it.

                                                            He's a stunner. Look out ladies.

I'm immensely proud of this kid, even when he makes mistakes, looses his temper, or we fight, I still keep coming back to how much I love him and how my life has been enriched my having him in it.  God has blessed me with a brother that listens to my seemingly endless rants, watches crappy TV shows with me, lets me ask questions when he is in the middle of his video games, eats what ever I make him and gives an honest opinion of it, lets me sit at his lunch table at school, and never judged me for the mistakes I have made.

He is a fantastic person, brother, son, and friend, and I know he will be an amazing husband and father in the future.  Life still has things to teach him, but I'm not worried.
He is such a strong person and he will be able to handle anything life throws his way, and be able to sing a song about it.


I love you Broder. I am so looking forward to seeing you grow up and to see what God has in store for you.

And congrats on the new job by the way.

Ready To Leave?

My mother and I went through all my college stuff today.  Washed my bedding, counted out all the things we need to buy, and (I, at least) mentally prepared myself for leaving.  I still have a ton of stuff that I have to do and get, before I am actually ready to leave, but I'm getting close.  Now the stress is starting to set in.

I move in September 18th.  I do not know who my roommate will be.  I do not know what classes I will be taking. I do not know how I will survive in a new state, seven hours from home.  To describe me as apprehensive would be the understatement of the century. 

I'm freaking out.  And yet, I'm excited.  I'm finally gonna be on my own, left to my own choices and my own decisions.  I'll be moving somewhere where no one will know me as "Aaron's little sister" or "The piano teacher's daughter".  

I have the chance to meet new people.  Make friends (none more amazing than the ones I have right now though).  Fall in love.  Yes, I went there, but I mean it more than just finding my future husband.  I get the chance to fall in love with the state, the school, the work, the people, the food, the culture. 

I'm homesick already!  It's crazy how much I'm gonna miss my family, friends, Tessa, and the state in general.  It's going to be a huge adjustment, but I'm coming to terms with it.  I may be ready for this.

Summer Camp 2013

Exactly a month ago, I was at summer camp.  I was a last minute counselor at Christian Horizons. A one week summer camp for special needs adults.

This was one of the most terrifying and humbling experiences of my life.

My week started out on Saturday afternoon, travelling down to camp with a family friend and another counselor.  The day was spent unpacking and setting up for the rest of the staff to arrive. I was blessed to have met two wonderful young ladies that day, Carolyn and Esther.  We instantly got along, which is unusual for three, eighteen year old girls.  

Sunday was a staff training day.  We met Hannah today.  And against the odds, yet another girl joined our little pack.  And thus began "Giggle Fest 2013"

Monday our campers arrived and stayed until Saturday morning.  Boy what a week!

God showed me what it was to be a servant. I spent a week caring for these amazing people, who are so loving, forgiving, and truly amazing.  Granted you have to be a little special to deal with this camp as well.... On average the girls and I got about four hours of sleep a night.  Most of us woke up at 6 every morning, got our campers up at 7, breakfast at 8, at 10:30 morning activities (crafts, boating, bows and arrows, or music), lunch at 12, Nap time for campers from 1-2, at 3 afternoon activities (cooking, bows and arrows, bible study, boating), at 4 we had swimming or movie, then dinner at 5:30, our evening program at 7, snacks at  8, devotions and campers in bed by 9:30.  Was that the end of my day? No.  After the campers were in bed, some of us would head off to the staff meeting and then have break until 11 (we would rotate shifts on different days).  

The girls and I usually would stay up chatting in the stairwell till about 12:30-1:00 am.  Comparing notes on our days, sharing funny stories, or just talking about our lives.  We bonded a lot during that week, not sure I could have survived camp with out these wonderful ladies!  God truly bless me. 

And then come the campers.

The first night, after a very long day, I texted a couple of friends asking for prayer.  I was confused about why God had sent me to this camp.  Why had he put me here of all places?  I wasn't any good at this! But when one of my friends responded with, 

"Just remember, God always has a plan, and he might have put you there more for others' benefit than your own."

I realize then, I was thinking about this whole thing wrong.  

I wanted to know what I would get out of this week, not realizing that it what I put into the week that mattered.  My entire outlook on the week changed.  

God did change me that week, it just wasn't in the way I expected.