Hope For The Hopeless.

Hopelessness is a feeling that I have been struggling with these last few weeks.  Not just in my own life, but in the lives of the people around me.


I feel hopeless on how to deal with people from back home, I am not physically able to be there for them, I can't be that shoulder to lean on.

I feel hopeless when I wake up every morning and face the reality of the hard day ahead of me.

I feel hopeless on what I'm surrounded by everyday, whether that be cruel group mates, overly-flirtatious classmates, or empty friendships.

I feel hopeless when all I want to do is call that one person, and I'm not able to contact them.



The pastor, at the church I attend here in Kentucky, said something, this past Sunday, that gave me a little perspective.

"There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them."

And he is absolutely right.  I have given up on this quarter, and that only makes it worse.

Now here is where I should put this inspirational message about how I found myself looking for the good in my day.  But I'm being honest.  This week has been really hard.  I have come home every day and have just broken down.  I've cried because of exhaustion, frustration, loneliness, or just because that's the only way to express how I feel.  I can not attribute it to any one thing, but just the weight of it all.  And I know I am not the only one who is having this issue, it may not be all of the same causes, but we all go through this all some point in time.  It seems endless.

I'm going to be motivational for a moment and say it does end.  I haven't hit the end of it yet.  I'm still in the thick of it all, but one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe Saturday, maybe in a month it will be better.

Until then, I keep having to remind myself that no matter how lost, overwhelmed, or alone I feel, God is always there.  Making my day better in ways I don't always appreciate.

I'm not able to call my best friend or my boyfriend right now, which is hard, but He gave me my mother.  Who has been wonderfully understanding over the last few days, letting me cry, on the phone with her, for hours.

I am surrounded by people in school who try and destroy things that I have worked hard for, and one person who shows me unwanted attention.  God gave me a caring and understanding chef, who watches out for me and has my best interest at heart.

So I'm not hopeful right now.  But I can not be completely hopeless when I have God.

As Psalm 62: 5 says;

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him."

And Isaiah 46: 4;

"Even to your old age and gray hairs; I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;  I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

My hope will come back to full strength some day, and He will sustain me until then, rescue me if I fall, and carry me when I just can't go on anymore.  So I do not have to be okay right now, or tomorrow, or everyday.  I just have to be okay in the knowledge that He is here and He is watching out for me when I am too tired to do it for myself.

And He can (and will) do that for you.

So let God be your hope when you are hopeless.

Hey, By The Way, Thanks.

How often do you say "thank you?"

Do you say it to the person making your coffee, to the waitress serving you dinner, to the teacher who hands you back your test score?  How about to God?  How often do you thank Him?

Do you say it every night at dinner?
Maybe just every Thanksgiving?
When ever something really good happens to you?

 Be honest, how often do you really say "thank you?"

I'll be honest, I'm really good at saying "thank you" but I'm not good at meaning it.  I say it everyday to the girl who makes my breakfast, I say it every time someone hands me something in class, but I don't say it to God everyday. Even though he's the only reason I am here.  He's the only reason I recovered from my fevers this weekend.  He's the only reason I woke up this morning.  He's the only reason I am able to write this blog.  And yet I didn't say "thank you" when I woke up this morning.  I didn't say "thank you" when school got canceled due to snow, giving me one more day to study.  I should have.  I should never stop saying it, cause there is always something to be thankful for.

We had a guest speaker at church a few weeks ago who said something that sat heavy with me.

In response to the question; "What is God's will for me?" he said, "Say 'thank you.' Often"

That's it.  Just say "thanks." It's not hard. Or is it?

Would you say "thank you" for that really annoying coworker or classmate that you have?
Would you say "thank you" for school when you're stuck far away from your loved ones?
Would you say "thank you" for the relationships in your life that don't seem to be good for you, just them?

I didn't.  Those were things I prayed to get rid of.  But during devotions a week ago, I ran across Colossians 4:2.

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

So I did.
I prayed for my least favorite classmates, every time I saw them.
I prayed for God to help me through this quarter and thanked him for giving me this opportunity.
I prayed for those in my life that needed more attention than I did, and how I could help them.

So I was thankful.  Then I watched.

My least favorite classmates took on my load in lab so I wouldn't be late to my next class.  Without complaint.
When I was struggling with homesickness, a classmate walked up and gave me a hug, saying it was good to see me.
God showed me what an impact I had on a friend's life.  How much I helped better their days.

It was truly amazing.  So I challenge you to do that today.  Say "thanks," for something you normally wouldn't think about.  Say it and mean it.  Then step back and see what is changed by you saying that.

Baby It's Cold Outside.

It was in the single digits here in Kentucky this week.  It's even lower back home in Michigan!  Here is the main difference... there is no snow here!

What?

A January with no snow... I didn't know that was possible.  But I guess I'll have to get used to it, looks like that is what this year is going to be.

As someone who isn't the biggest fan of snow; Yay!  As a photographer; Bah!  It is so ugly here, everything is brown and dead.  Back home everything was beautiful, trees covered in ice and snow.  So here are some pictures I took over break back home.

Back To Business.

A new year. A new quarter. Normally I think this is where people put "A new me!" but that's not really true in this case.  New Years has never been like that for me.  I don't set new goals, resolutions, or what not.  I knew I would break them, so in my mind, there was no point.  I made a few when I was younger, crash diet goals, ridiculous restrictions on what I could and could not eat, usually those lasted about two weeks.  I either got sick or just plain hungry.  Never been good with restricting my eating habits, I'm a foodie, hence culinary school.

Speaking of which, I'm back!  Back to Kentucky for the next three months.  Back to a schedule, a plan, a goal.  In one year I will be moved back home, back to my little farming town.  To my family and friends.  Oh how I wish this year to go fast.  But I have some things that need my attention this year.  Not just school, I have important things happening this year.  Family changes to deal with, friends growing up and moving on and the work that goes into trying to keep those friendships alive, and a boyfriend who is leaving for bootcamp and schooling.  My world gets to be turned upside down every three months or so for the next year.  I can't just sit here in my dorm watching the world fly by me, I'm taking an active role in my life this year.

• I'm pushing myself harder, academically, then I ever have before.
• I'm spending the longest amount of time away from home then I ever have before.
• I'm working on a relationship that doesn't have the best timing or circumstances.
• I'm striving to be a better person, and a better Christian.
• I'm finding out more about myself, rediscovering who I am and what I want for my life.  
• I'm becoming an adult. 

And I am loving every second of it so far.  I will eat my words finals week, but right here, right now, I am where I am supposed to be.  My life isn't pretty, I have had to deal with things this last week that I really don't want to think about at eighteen years old, but I don't regret that.  It's what my life needs right now, and it's what I'll have to deal with.

Just not right now.

Right now it's time for dinner and some Sherlock.

So here is to 2014.  May it bring happy changes and blessings into your life as well.