Waiting.

Since I have been back at school, I have had several people ask me about AJ.  The same kind of questions I had mentioned before, but a few asked me a question I honestly didn't expect.

"So, when are you moving out to California?"

The people who ask this don't know AJ, or I, very well. I've only shared a class with them for a quarter or two. I am surprised by this question because it's something that didn't even cross my mind.  I will move back home to Michigan in December, it never occurred to me that moving to California was even an option for me.  Honestly, it's not an option for me, but I realized that my reasons behind that answer, weren't clear to my classmates.

I am a Christian, and part of what I believe is that couples don't live together until they are man and wife. 

When I told my classmates that I won't move in with him until we are married, I got laughed at.  Out right amusement at the fact that I would wait until marriage.  The next thing out of their mouth was "When is the wedding?"  Again... I was a bit taken-a-back.  I have only been dating AJ for ten months.   When I told them how long we had been dating, I was met with more laughter.  Seems that my take on relationships is literally laughable. 

Thinking back, at least three times, since I started dating, I have been asked if I had slept with my boyfriend yet.  When I tell people that I hadn't, that I am a virgin and waiting till marriage, people have shown varying reactions to the news.

Some laugh.
Some tell me I'm a prude, to just sleep with him already.
Some look at me like I am some innocent child, like I don't understand how the world works.
Some look at me with envy, telling me that they wish they would have waited.
Some applaud me for the choice I have made.
Sometimes it is a combination of these.

What gets me is, in the same breath, someone can call me a prude and still be envious of the "innocence" that I have.  I have no problem telling people the reasons why I haven't slept with anyone, and why I am waiting for my husband.  I do it not only to respect my God and myself, but to also respect my future husband.  There is a possibility, as much as I don't like to admit it, that I won't marry AJ.  That I may find myself, five years down the line, engaged to someone else.

What would he think of me if I had been living in California, with my then-boyfriend, just a few years ago?
What would he think of me if I wasn't a virgin and he was?
What would that do to our relationship?

When I place those questions in front of my classmates (and myself), the answer if quite clear. Even to someone who doesn't share my beliefs. The look in their eyes changes.  Sometimes to self-loathing, other times to contemplation. I'm never sure if I change anyone's mind, but something has got them thinking about what makes me different.

Girls from my class have told me that they admire the relationship that AJ and I share.  That they wish they had boyfriends like AJ.  I smile because I know they are saying those things partially because military relationships are romanticized too much by media these days, but maybe, just maybe, I may be of some influence over the way these girls go about their next relationship.

Waiting isn't such a bad thing.

So here we are again, at the end of a post, where I attempted to be profound in my relationship giving advice. I'm not actually sure who reads my blog, but maybe some young girl out there, who is embarrassed because her friends keep calling her a prude, will read this.  Maybe she'll be able to stave off the peer pressure for a little while longer.  That's my hope, at least.