It's Not Always About You.

                                                  "It's not always about you."

This is an idea that has been drilled into my head since I was a small child.  I had two higher maintenance brothers who demanded a lot of attention, I was the good middle child and kinda slid through.  I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you and say that I was neglected, quite the opposite, I have a fantastic family and was given all the love and attention I needed.  Just not all that I wanted.

I have always been a people pleaser, to some extent.  I always took care of my brothers without complaint.  Everything from getting them blankets when they were sick, to making them food when ever they asked.   I have continued this into my teen years.  I have that sort of mother like bond with a lot of people.  A friend actually calls me, "Mom" or "The Mother of the Group" because I tend to do just that, mother my friends.  I make sure they have eaten good that day, make sure they are comfortable, make sure they are happy.  This is not something that bothers me, just in case this comes off like I am complaining, I love my friends and genuinely care about their well being.   And here is where I get into the main point of this blog post.

This has been a very emotionally draining week, ten of my friends have needed a shoulder to lean on this week.  I have been that shoulder, for all of them.  I have found myself considering a career change into therapy.  Seriously, complete with the yellow legal notepad and the chaise lounge.

A friend made this picture for me on one of the more dramatic days this week, it made me smile!

Now, as a said before, I have been emotionally invested into a lot of people and their problems this week.  Which I don't mind, seriously, but it became difficult to focus on my own life, not to mention all of my own issues.  Eating and sleeping took a back seat, my blood was about 40% coffee, and there really was no end in sight.

I kept thinking, "It will all end today.  Tomorrow will be drama free."

NOPE!

Just when I think I am gonna catch a break, someone else comes to me in need of advice or comfort.  I will never turn anyone down, but I find myself getting frustrated with them.  Even when they don't deserve it.  It's not their fault I have a thousand things going on all at once, but I am beginning to treat them like it is.  I realized this a few days ago while talking with one of my "drama-free" best friends.  It became a crushing reality, that I was getting mad at my friends for not taking my life into consideration.  I can't do that.

I spent an hour in prayer this morning, trying to focus on everyone equally, trying not to forget anyone, and trying to regain the strength I had lost.  God is teaching me a huge lesson.  All of my issues I have been struggling with this week have been so petty in comparison with some others.

My life isn't necessarily all about me.